Unit 7: Meeting Aesclepius

I really enjoyed the exercise of Meeting Aesclepius. I thought about Jesus being that wise person sitting in front of me. Just the thought of Him sitting there and giving me all His time and love and totally available to me was so fulfilling. I could feel the tension in my mind and throat and heart release. I didn't have to do anything just experience His light. It was a beautiful gift to a tired woman. 

I have always believed the saying "one cannot lead another where one has not gone himself." In fact, the path I am on now has been very difficult and many times throughout this venture I have said to myself, "wow, I had no idea how hard it was for those who have gone through this!" I also tell myself, "now I understand, and when I get through this I can help others find their way through!"  I used to live in the mountains and unless I had been in the mountains learning the way through I could have never shown anyone else. I am learning all the needs a person has when they are in extreme stress and will be able to address them for others more holistically. It is very important that I work on developing my health psychologically, physically, and spiritually. How can I encourage others to do the work when I am not willing myself?  I want to be an example and not just a cheerleader. I would have to say that what I am going through is developing every part of my integral self. I am grateful for that because I want to be a deeper person and understand the pain of others.  Christina

Unit 6: Loving Kindness and Integral Assessment

The universal Loving Kindness exercise was interesting. At first it was repetitive, just repeating the sentences over and over but then it began to make sense to my head. Then it made sense to my heart. I thought, "wow, what if I could tie these thoughts to my head and my heart all the time!" I am pretty sure I would treat people with more kindness, even those that I consider to be enemies. 

The Integral Assessment was difficult to understand at first but as I slowed down and went through it I began to understand it more. In my psychospiritual I realized that my conative level still has a lot of work to move from instinctive and reactive to have meaning and fulfillment. The emotional part of me realizes that my goal is to have stable happiness and not be dictated by fears, anger, or desires.  

I think my biological line is more developed. I exercise regularly and am working on becoming more aware of my physical body.  I am trying to learn exercises that work on body and mind at the same time. 

The Interpersonal area is an area that I am really struggling with. Family is very important to me and they are a big part of my life. I have also learned that I forgot about self or really didn't know self so I was not balanced and not teaching my children how to be balanced. 

My Worldly Flourishing area is growing and I am involved with the community in different areas. I hope to become involved in the global cause of human trafficking when I have become more balanced. I also want to pass on to others what I am learning about balance and interpersonal health.   Christina

Unite 5: Subtle Mind Exercise

Dear Friends,

I would have to say that I enjoyed the Subtle mind exercise more than the Loving Kindness. I didn't realize that I was supposed to be doing the LK every day.  It made me wonder if it would make more sense if I did.  Parts of it, like breathing in their pain, would be hard to do every day. Perhaps I would get a better feel for how it could help others and me, I don't know. The Subtle mind exercise was good (except that my son kept asking me questions off and on).  It was wonderful to focus on breathing in and out and stand back to watch my thoughts pass through but not latch on to them. It was like I was floating on a cloud watching the pictures float by and I didn't have to even touch them. Sometimes I feel like I am going to drown from all the thoughts that race through my head, too many of them. This is something that I would like to practice more and see if my body responds to the calmness of my mind.

We have been learning that every part of us is important and effects the other parts. Our spiritual is connected to our physical and they are connected to emotional.  I come from a rather conservative religious background, although I am learning where that conservatism has almost replaced God and cast out perfect love. I have experienced a purified love of Jesus in the last year that I had only read about. Every class I have taken has refined my understanding of what love should look like and even though we are going though something terrible we do not have to let anger and hate penetrate our psychosocial heart. In doing so we retain health for ourselves and those around us. One of our readings referred to Judeo-Christian beliefs but I prefer to specify the person of Jesus, who I believe was the embodiment of perfect love.  Christina

Unit Four: Loving-kindness exercise

     It is interesting that Loving Kindness is the first one of the contemplative practices. It totally makes sense that it would be first since it opens our hearts and replaces selfishness with love. I am struggling with this though because it also involves opening ourselves to the pain of those we love, which was an interesting thought. Americans do not like to be in pain and the thought of absorbing pain was difficult.  It was even harder to inhale the pain of my enemies, which I had a hard time coming up with one. I am struggling with a relationship but I do not consider them an enemy, just a hurting person. This exercise was difficult for me because I am turning my life around and learning how to be healthy. There is the battle with the old mentalities that have kept me bound for so long.  I feel that if all I have is kindness there is no protection against those things that hurt me for so long and I would be vulnerable. 

     I found the audio exercise difficult due to the fact that my children kept interrupting but there were so many things that I was supposed to do that I forgot what they all were once the narrator stopped talking. I could tell when the recorded waves restarted and it distracted me.  I think my mind is racing due to all that I am going through and I need someone walking me through the exercise a little more.  I will try it again when I go to bed and the kids are sleeping. 

     Training my mind is going to take a lot of work. It is going to be like training for a 5K, I have to run and strengthen my heart and body. If I want to make changes in my mentality I am going to need to do the mental exercises every day for at least 5 to 10 minutes a day. I know I want to be a healthy, balanced person so I must decide to do my "mental workout" daily. Dacher stated that in six weeks I would be well on my way to accomplishing love and kindness in my life. I am excited to start toward the goal.  Christina

Reference: Dacher, E.S. (2006). Integral Health: The path to Human Flourishing. Laguna Beach, CA: Basic Health Publications.